Nemesis

This boat is my nemesis for the next little while! I WILL roll you!!!!!!

Not my own

So I was looking at my bank account information on-line yesterday (something i dont do very often, mostly because its depressing at how quickly it goes down...) and i noticed that payments were still coming out from some house related companies that i thought were taken care of!

i.e. hundreds of dollars I am paying on a non-existent house!

This made me pretty upset. This....made....me.....pretty UPSET. Of course i right aways tried to contact these companies to tell them of THEIR mistake only to be told by one that it was my fault and by the other that they would reimburse some of it. Still, in my mind i am thinking how dare they take MY money. I am a student with no income, big expenses, and i need every penny. Then i settled down and learnt a lesson....

I remembered that what i have is not my own. I dont Deserve it, why should i have any more than anyone else and what right do I have to get angry over what God could take away in an instant. It is HIS. So i can see getting upset over taking money from Him, but i felt convicted about feeling like I had been wronged over something that was mine. Money makes us feel a lot of emotions. I am now going to try to really see it as a gift and, sort of, not mine...maybe i'll be more thoughtful....and prayerful, as to how i spend it.

Refound poem

I refound this poem that i read a few years ago and really liked....wrote an essay on it in college actually. Ahhh essays, i'm back to doing those again.

Batter my heart three personed God
for you as yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend
that i may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend your force
to break, blow, burn and make me new
I, like an usurpe'd town, to another due, labour to admit you,
but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, but is captived,
and proves weak or untrue. Yet, dearly I love you and would be loved fain,
but am betrothe'd unto your enemy;
divorce me, untie, or break that knot again.
take me to you, imprison me, for I, except you enthrall me
never shall be free, nor ever chaste except you ravish me.

john donne


what do you think?

Lessons...

So much has happened in the last three weeks!!! I've been mountaineering, white water kayaking and sea kayaking! Sometimes I think back to it all and am so surprised at all i'm doing. I think giving the details off all of it will take WAY too long and take up WAY too much space, but i'm happy to share some lessons i've learned:

1. living in a tiny hut with 9 males takes patience...and an open mind.

2. dehydrated beef is fantastic!! and a surefire way to impress an instructor.

3. I am able to save you when we are mountaineering and you fall down a crevasse.

4. getting up at 4:00 am is fabulous when you are doing something you absolutely LOVE!

5. wearing long underwear, a wetsuit, fleece over top, and a dry top over that instantly makes you have to pee.

6. peeing in your wetsuit is not a good idea.

7. I wont become the world's best white water kayaker, but it is fun to bomb down big rapids sometimes.

8. Learning can happen quickly or require much study and repetition...i still can't roll a kayak regularily....Grrrrrr.

9. Just call me meteorologist renae! all I have to say is high or low pressure systems, frontal systems, ridges, troughs, wind, waves, tides, currents, clouds, skys...and everything inbetween, i've heard it this week...and then gone out and experienced it while navigating a kayak in 2 meter swells!

10. BE PROUD of what you accomplish in your own heart and mind no matter what others have done, what others say, or the expectations put on you!!